I love the Bridesmaids more than cheese. Granted, this isn’t saying a ton because I’m lactose intolerant and too much cheese makes me bloaty. But still, dammit, if I don’t love me a hunk of Camembert every now and again. You always hurt the ones you love, no? But, truly, the Bridesmaids typified what I enjoyed about this award season. Ladies enjoying each other’s company, making each other laugh and giving us all great entertainment in the process. Which, after all, is the true spirit of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Sure, it’s about the touchy feely fabulosity of those fauxosexual moments. But it’s really about women being comfortable in the presence of other women and appreciating each other for the fantastic creatures that we are. So, in that spirit I give you a very special Oscars Edition of SGALGG.Rose Byrne & Melissa McCarthy
No true drunken straight gal hookup starts without shots. Scorsese!
Viola Davis & Octavia Spencer
I just love these two together. Also, this is a Viola Davis Arms Appreciation Post.
Viola Davis & Meryl Streep
I just love these two together. Also, this is a Viola Davis Back Appreciation Post.
Busy Phillips & Michelle Williams
These two are obviously taking a couple shot for their Facebook profile pictures so they can simultaneously change their statuses to “In a Relationship.”
Gwyneth Paltrow & Penelope Cruz
Is it just me, or does this totally look like albino Batman is giving hot Robin a hug here?
Glenn Close & Janet McTeer
Glenn’s all, “Did you see her flash those puppies in ‘Albert Nobbs?’ Yeah, keep your hands off. They’re MINE!”
Claire Danes & Rashida Jones
I am overcome with the unshakeable desire to see Claire guest on “Parks & Recreation” as a grown-up Angela Chase who befriends Leslie and Ann.
Jessica Chastain & Milla Jovovich
I feel like they’re silently acknowledging to each other that 1) They had two of the prettiest dresses on the red carpet and 2) They’d love to see each other’s dresses in a pile on their hotel room floors.
Dianna Agron & Malin Akerman
I feel like Dianna is not-so silently acknowledging the No. 2 point above.
Amy Adams & Olivia Wilde
Reboot. I’m sorry, I think my brain short circuited for a minute from all the pretty. Reboot. I’m sorry, I think my brain short circuited for a minute from all the pretty. Reboot. I’m sorry…
Ginnifer Goodwin & Sasha Alexander
Suddenly, looking at Ginnifer’s sexy pixie cut, Jane Rizzoli is starting to feel a little insecure.
Heidi Klum & Bar Refaeli
Clearly they did this purposely to get into SGALGG.
Cameron Diaz & Kate Hudson
Please see above.
Miley Cyrus & Kelly Osbourne
Well now it’s almost starting to feel desperate.
Amy Adams, Jennifer Westfeldt, Claire Danes & Paula Patton
You want us to do you one on one? Or two by two? Or we could do three on one? Or we could do four by four? Do four by four? Four by four.
And finally, I call these last group of pictures: Meryl Streep Seduces The World
With Sandra Bullock
Sandy is reminding Meryl of the time they kissed and trying to impress her with her finger size.
With Rooney Mara
Now is your chance, Rooney. Kiss her! Hard, on the mouth!
With Octavia Spencer
And we’ve come full circle with the drunken straight gal hookups. Someone must have yelled Scorsese and Meryl obliged.
Bonus: Angie’s Right Leg
I think we should acknowledge that Angelina’s bisexual side was alive and well at the Oscars as her right leg was obviously trying to initiate a threesome with Angie & Brad.
No true drunken straight gal hookup starts without shots. Scorsese!Viola Davis & Octavia Spencer
I just love these two together. Also, this is a Viola Davis Arms Appreciation Post.Viola Davis & Meryl Streep
I just love these two together. Also, this is a Viola Davis Back Appreciation Post.Busy Phillips & Michelle Williams
These two are obviously taking a couple shot for their Facebook profile pictures so they can simultaneously change their statuses to “In a Relationship.”Gwyneth Paltrow & Penelope Cruz
Is it just me, or does this totally look like albino Batman is giving hot Robin a hug here?Glenn Close & Janet McTeer
Glenn’s all, “Did you see her flash those puppies in ‘Albert Nobbs?’ Yeah, keep your hands off. They’re MINE!”Claire Danes & Rashida Jones
I am overcome with the unshakeable desire to see Claire guest on “Parks & Recreation” as a grown-up Angela Chase who befriends Leslie and Ann.Jessica Chastain & Milla Jovovich
I feel like they’re silently acknowledging to each other that 1) They had two of the prettiest dresses on the red carpet and 2) They’d love to see each other’s dresses in a pile on their hotel room floors.Dianna Agron & Malin Akerman
I feel like Dianna is not-so silently acknowledging the No. 2 point above.Amy Adams & Olivia Wilde
Reboot. I’m sorry, I think my brain short circuited for a minute from all the pretty. Reboot. I’m sorry, I think my brain short circuited for a minute from all the pretty. Reboot. I’m sorry…Ginnifer Goodwin & Sasha Alexander
Suddenly, looking at Ginnifer’s sexy pixie cut, Jane Rizzoli is starting to feel a little insecure.Heidi Klum & Bar Refaeli
Clearly they did this purposely to get into SGALGG.Cameron Diaz & Kate Hudson
Please see above.Miley Cyrus & Kelly Osbourne
Well now it’s almost starting to feel desperate.Amy Adams, Jennifer Westfeldt, Claire Danes & Paula Patton
You want us to do you one on one? Or two by two? Or we could do three on one? Or we could do four by four? Do four by four? Four by four.And finally, I call these last group of pictures: Meryl Streep Seduces The World
With Sandra Bullock
Sandy is reminding Meryl of the time they kissed and trying to impress her with her finger size.With Rooney Mara
Now is your chance, Rooney. Kiss her! Hard, on the mouth!With Octavia Spencer
And we’ve come full circle with the drunken straight gal hookups. Someone must have yelled Scorsese and Meryl obliged.Bonus: Angie’s Right Leg
I think we should acknowledge that Angelina’s bisexual side was alive and well at the Oscars as her right leg was obviously trying to initiate a threesome with Angie & Brad.
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