Megan Fox Selected As Sharper Image Spokesperson

She’s always looking to expand her career horizons, and Megan Fox has signed a deal with The Sharper Image to add some sex appeal to their product line.The “Jennifer’s Body” babe is now an official spokesperson for the tech-savvy brand, and will appear in their new ad campaign.

And along with their ‘heated up’ strategy, The Sharper Image will also launch a new website later this year featuring Fox.In career news, Megan will be starring in the forthcoming Judd Apatow comedy “This is 40” with Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, and Jason Segel. Photo Credit: Sharper Image

Burn, baby, burn

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning, it smells like victory.” Violence has always been a part of our popular culture. It’s as much an American pastime as baseball, apple pie and scurrilous Wall Street money grubbing. But when the lines blur so easily, so seductively between entertainment and anger, sex and violence, perhaps it’s time for a new hobby.

I’ve been bothered by Eminem and Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie” video since it debuted last week. Actually, I’d been bothered by the song since it came out several weeks ago. Is her rapping about, wait, yes, he’s rapping about how he and his wife used to beat the shit out of each other. All righty then. Now, granted, it’s unmistakably catchy. Eminem has always had a way with a hook. Still the song also follows the musical gimmick du jour of having a pretty female vocalist sing a few pretty verses in between all the hip hop. (p.s. “Ghetto Supastar” called and wants its idea back. Oh, and then “Rapture” called and said, “Not so fast with the ‘your idea’ stuff, Pras and Mya.”) But that’s all peripheral when it comes to the video. This video.

The video with Eminem and Rihanna in front of a burning house and Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan burning said house down – metaphorically and plain old literally. The video that features two of the biggest celebrities with high-profile, highly volatile run-ins with domestic violence. The video that shows both Megan and Dominic hitting each other, making out with each other and, yes, catching ablaze with the passionate, crazy, angry intensity of their love for each other. Or is it hate? Whatever, have I mentioned it’s sexy?

The problem with “Love the Way You Lie” is not so much that it glorifies domestic violence as it wallows in the beauty of its rage. The video is pretty. It has Megan Fox and Rihanna, it can’t help but be pretty. The violence is, well, violence. But it’s also all-consuming, yearning and, yes, kind of beautiful. And therein lies the problem. Because through all the punched walls and tonsil hockey, Eminem also raps “If she ever tries to fucking leave again I’m going to tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.”

Which, I think we can all agree, is in no way beautiful. There’s too much sex in my violence. Love that burns the house down, that is the real lie.

Trench Coat Tuesday

So, clearly, it’s a Tuesday. And, yes, Tuesdays are for tank tops. But sometimes a gal needs to mix things up a bit. I figure other articles of clothing should be allowed to stop by every now and then for a visit. Like a timeshare of hotness. So today, the humble tank top makes way for the elegant trench coat. The iconic piece of clothing is as practical as it is promising. That great promise, of course, is simple: That there will be only smooth skin and sin waiting underneath. For example, on Naomi Watts the trench says both a) I’m wearing a jacket in case things get nippy on our car ride and b) I’m wearing nothing underneath to ensure things get nipply after our ride. See, change can be good, or bad – in the someone has been a very, very bad girl sense.

Emily DeschanelMy what nice, um, “Bones” structure you have. I know – groan.

Mariska HargitayIf you get flashed by a cop, who do you call? If it’s Mariska, everyone.

Kate WinsletCold outside, hot everywhere else.

Anna Torv

Just ignore Joshua Jackson, I do on “Fringe” anyway.

Megan FoxEver since she got canned from “Transformers 3,” I’ve liked her a lot more. A lot.

Jessica CapshawDear Shonda Rhimes: Next year, please consider incorporating a trench coat into next season’s mandatory Calzona make-up sex scenes. Just a thought.

Jodie Foster

See, you’ve forgotten all about dumb old tank tops already.

Breaking news

So, yesterday, while scanning the “Top News” from the Associated Press on my cellphone, I came across something that simply did not belong. See if you can spot it for yourself:

[Click to embiggen]

Let's see: Interest rate cuts reassessed, Asian market commits suicide thanks to Lehman Brothers, Health plans suck and even economists know it, cellphones and train conductors don't mix and – wait, hello, hello, what's this? – Megan Fox had a femme Nikita?

Yes, Megan Fox, America's hottie du jour, once dated a Russian stripped named Nikita. Why? Because she “smelled like angels.” Paging, Cinemax After Dark, Cinemax After Dark, your plotline is waiting.

But what I found less astonishing than the fact that Megan had a brief foray into the love that dare not speak it's name (except maybe in Russian), was the fact that the AP would package the story along with the rest of its important “Top News.” While I love celebrity gossip as much if not considerably more than the next gal, um...priorities? It's not like yesterday was a slow news day or something, what with the U.S. economy collapsing and all.

Still, I have to give the AP a little credit for not running with the headline from the original GQ cover story where Megan talked about her Sapphic strip teaser. It demurely reads: “MEGAN FOX WAS A TEENAGE LESBIAN!” Yes, all caps. Yes, an exclamation point. Though, I guess I shouldn't expect subtlety from a magazine that runs these sorts of shots.

Still, don't let the headline fool you. Megan makes sure to clear one thing up for all the fellas reading at home:

“Look, I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.”

Pssst, Megan, there's a name for that – it's bisexual. Hey, I'm just trying to make sure she gets her story straight, so to speak.

Friday’s weird, wonderful and wrong

Weird: Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson on the set of “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.” Not that I’m complaining. But seeing the juxtaposition of Hollywood’s hottie du jour and Hollywood’s eternal skeptic is kind of jarring. Hot, but jarring.

Wonderful: Elizabeth Shue and her gun show. I’ve had a wee crush on Elizabeth since “Adventures in Babysitting.” So, it’s nice to see that 20 years later she’s still a knockout -- both figuratively and literally.

Wrong: Anne Hathaway and her real estate mogul boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. This shot totally looks like a scene from “A Night at the Roxbury,” where Anne is cornered by Raffaello and some creepy old guy at a bar. Of course, being unfailingly polite, she smiles through the skeeziness. Dude, button your damn shirt. You’re in the presence of a lady.