SGALGG: Winter Olympics Edition

I can’t believe they’re over. All those amazing athletes, all that human drama, all that spectacular triumph – heck, even a little heartbreak. But now, now all we have the memories of super hot sports stars at the top of their physical form, hugging each other like grabby high school students. What? You have your memories and I have mine. So, in honor of the Vancouver Winter Olympics, one last look back in wonder. A Straight Gals* Acting Like Gay Gals to remember. (*Note: I cannot vouch for all these ladies straightness. And when I say all, mostly I mean you, hockey gals. Beer in cans and big old cigars? Just saying.)

Kaillie Humphries & Heather Moyse, Canada, Bobsled, GoldI think the big, brawny gals of bobsled are all kinds of sexy. There, I said it.

Shelly-Ann Brown & Helen Upperton, Canada, Bobsled, SilverSee, told ya.

Anette Norberg & Eva Lund, Sweden, Curling, GoldSame goes for curling. But mostly I think that’s just because the women keep screaming HAAAARD at each other.

Cheryl Bernard, Canada, Curling, SilverSee, told ya.

Bingyu Wang & Yin Liu, China, Curling, BronzeAll the kissing helps, too.

Stephanie Beckert & Anna Friesinger-Postma, Germany, Speedskating Team Pursuit, GoldWhat the Winter Olympics lack in tank tops, they make up for in clingy body suits.

Lee Sang-Hwa, South Korea & Wang Beixing, China, Speedskating, Gold & SilverSee, told ya.

Tatjana Huefner & Natalie Geisenberger, Germany, Luge, Gold & BronzeLuge is fucking crazy. Ditto for skeleton.

Claudia Nystad & Evi Sachenbacher-Stehle, Germany, Cross Country, SilverIs cross country the speed walking of the Winter Games? Just putting it out there.

Tania Vicent & teammates, Canada, Short Track, SilverCuddle huddle!

Marie Dorin & teammate, France, Biathlon, BronzeI don’t know who is hugging Marie*, but if I were her I’d be doing it, too. She’s adorable, and she can shoot things well. (*Apparently it’s Sylvie Becaert. Lucky gal.)

Ireen Wust & teammate girlfriend, Netherlands, Speedskating, GoldShe’s actually a GGALGG. So, you know, niiiice.

Team Canada, Hockey, GoldO, Canada. You are so adorably gay Canadian. Don’t ever change. Though, seriously, after these last 16 days I think I’m a little bit in love with Canada. Thanks, neighbors. Awesome Winter Games, eh?

My Weekend Crush

Yes, another post about women’s figure skating. Don’t worry, this only happens once every four years. So if impossibly graceful young women with iron wills and knives on their shoes bore you, go get a sandwich and come back Monday. Who knows, maybe there’ll be naked ladies again. But back to the ice, where last night was witness to – in my most humble of opinions – the most fucking amazing women’s figure skating finals I’ve ever seen.

This is why I watch the Olympics. Not just for the ice skating, per se (though, as I’ve said before, I do love it so). No, I love to see athletes reach their potential, do their best and truly enjoy their moment. I cannot recall ever seeing a more well skated final round from all the medal contenders. Not ever. None of the women in the last group fell. Very few made errors, and small ones at that. All shone in some way. Almost all were radiantly happy with their performance. Even the disappointed silver winner landed not one but two – two – triple axels in her program. And those plucky teenage Americans didn’t medal, but still showed their mettle. Hello, history, the ladies on Vancouver are calling.

And then, of course, there was Kim Yu-Na, the flawless golden queen of figure skating who carried an entire country’s expectations on her willowy shoulders, and Joannie Rochette, the adopted daughter of these games who battled through excruciating loss for a triumphant bronze. Damn, it’s almost like it was scripted. Bigger damn, I can’t believe the Olympics are almost over. Happy weekend, all.

“C’est pour toi, Maman”

Women’s figure skating is why I fell in love with the Winter Olympics in the first place, all those years ago. While I was too young for the Dorothy Hamill hoopla (or, blessedly, the haircut), I distinctively remember the power and, let’s face it, sexuality of Katarina Witt. Then, as a teenager, came the Asian sensations. My heart stopped at the great Kristi Yamaguchi versus Midori Ito duel. My heart still hurts for Michelle Kwan. I identified immediately with these tiny dynamos. Sure, I lacked their grace and strength and dedication, but at least they looked more like me than Nancy Kerrigan (or, blessedly, Tonya Harding).

These Olympics again feature some great Asian skaters, none more so than South Korean Kim Yu-Na – the skater so famous she had to flee her country to train in peace. But the heart of the competition, and perhaps these games, beats and breaks with Joannie Rochette. By now, everyone knows the story. The Canadian skater took to the ice only two days after her mother died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack after arriving in Vancouver to cheer on her daughter.

You could see the emotion, the pain, the tension in her face before her short program began. I held my breath. The announcers fell silent. And then it was just her and the ice. To say she skated well would be trite. She skated transcendently – her performance came from a place occupied only by muscle memory, pure grit and a mother’s love. And then after two minutes and 50 seconds of strength came the tears.

We have all had that moment – though probably never on so grand a stage or when it meant so much – that feeling of holding the world together and then finally letting it all go. I lost my father five years ago, also suddenly and unexpectedly, and I cannot imagine doing anything as beautifully as Joannie did Tuesday night so soon afterwards. While some might question why she would go on to skate after such a tragic loss, I understand it intrinsically. It is the one thing she understands. The one thing that makes sense. The one thing she knows she can do even though nothing else will never be the same. She had to.

But that she had to is one thing, that she did it so spectacularly is another. The Olympics have always been a microcosm our human condition played out over a fortnight. It is all of our dreams and life’s work distilled to that second when the starter’s gun fires. It’s your moment. Win or lose, what I think each athlete hopes for it to do her best. That is what makes it so universal. We all have dreams, we all work hard. We don’t all get rewarded at the end of the day with a gold medal or a Wheaties box. But we all try.

So now, on the day of the women’s free skate, I hold my breath again. My entire body aches for Joannie to do well. But even if she falters, if the understandable and unimaginable pressure gets to her, she will have already won. It’s not a victory for precious metal, but something much more precious. Love.

My Weekend Crush

If you’ve watched sports even a little, you’ll know Mary Carillo. Fans of women’s tennis and the Olympics like me know her so well she seems like an old friend. When her rich, resonant voice comes on, you know you’re going to hear something smart or funny or perceptive or probably all three. I’ve been following her for years as she provides tennis commentary (she famously coined the term “Big Babe Tennis”) and have always admired how even in such a male-dominated field as sportscasting she is never shy about sharing her opinion. It helps that she unquestionably knows her stuff. She is the total antithesis of your stereotypical broadcasting bimbo.

These games mark her 10th Olympics and her presence is at once refreshing and relaxing. NBC has used her primarily for color pieces during primetime (um, polar bears NBC, seriously?) and to anchor the late night show. I’d gladly watch her over Bob Costa’s sporty Dick Clark acts any day. (p.s. Ease up on the Just for Men, Bob.) And, look, it doesn’t hurt that she has a capable, casual style (read: pantsuits and minimal makeup) that appeals intrinsically to us gay ladies. And then there is her close friendship with Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova. (Hey, stop poking me in the ribs. I’ve heard those rumors, too.) In short, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather kick back and watch some sports with than Mary. Keep enjoying the Olympics, ladies. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday (Plus): Olympic Edition

Do you know how incredibly hard it is to find pictures of Winter Olympic athletes in tank tops? Really, really , really fricking hard. You know why? Because it’s the Winter Olympics. Think layers. Think parkas. Think boots. Think hats, scarves, goggles, mittens. Sheesh. But I found as many as I could and threw in a few non-tank tops because, um, have I mentioned how hard it is to find Winter Olympic athletes in tank tops? Though, there’s something to be said for the delicious surprise of unwrapping all those layers to find what lies beneath. It’s like Christmas morning, with muscles.

Jenn Heil, Canada, mogulsMarit Bjørgen, Norway, cross country skiingShannon Bahrke, USA, mogulsChemmy Alcott, Great Britain, downhill skiingMellisa Hollingsworth, Canada, skeletonKim Yu-na, South Korea, figure skatingGretchen Bleiler, USA, halfpipe snowboardingJulie Chu, USA, hockeyHannah Kearney, USA, mogulsShelley Rudman, Great Britain, skeletonIreen Wüst, Netherlands, speed skatingAnni Friesinger, Germany, speed skatingLindsey Vonn, USA, downhill skiingThanks for your suggestions, everyone. Happy Olympics, indeed.

My Weekend Crush

My love for Olympic athletes is well documented. The passion, dedication and sheer sweat it takes to make it to the highest level of athletic achievement is beyond awe inspiring. The Olympics are the only time I eagerly tune in to watch skiing, bobsledding, heck, even curling has its moments. Of course, for years I obsessed over figure skating. Back in 1992 when Kristi Yamaguchi doubled her triple salchow in her free skate, I nearly ate the throw pillow I was holding – I was that nervous for her. But this crush isn’t about the competition, oddly enough. It’s not about nail biting, or team rooting or podium standing. It’s about the one time in the Olympics when everyone is a winner, simply by being there.

The opening ceremonies have always been one of my favorite spectacles. If you weren’t blown away (and possibly a little frightened) by the near-mechanical precision displayed in the Beijing Games, then we weren’t watching the same program. But besides being a way for each country to show off, the ceremony is a celebration of hard work. Each athlete walks in having fulfilled a life’s dream. Each is an equal, each the best. No one is first, second or third. No one is a loser. Instead they’re all just together, honoring mutual dedication, excellence and achievement. I swear, each time the athletes start to walk in, I get a little choked up. Yes, I cry at the Olympics – every. single. time.

So bring on the light show, Vancouver, and show us what you’ve got, Canada. For one night, as the Olympic flame springs to life and the blazing cauldron watches over the city, everyone is a champion. Congratulations, Olympians. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Just in case you think I’ve gone soft, I am currently accepting hottie Winter Olympic athlete suggestions for future use. I’ll near all the help I can get because it’s a lot harder to gauge under all those winter togs. So help a sister out, ladies. Sing us out, Sarah.

Naked Lady (Athletes) Monday

Nothing like a little gratuitous muscle definition to perk up your Monday morning. EPSN’s Body Issue came out earlier this month and it featured a bunch of buff athletes in the buff (and near buff). There are many ways to describe these pictures: inspiring, motivational, drool-worthy. What I respect most, however, is the hard work that goes into every ripple, every curve, every bulge. All of this takes commitment, determination and a whole lot of sweat. Which reminds me, damn, I should really get to the gym.

[Click to embiggen, also NSFWish...but tastefully so.]

Gina Carano, mixed martial arts fighterLolo Jones, hurdlerClaire Bevilacqua, surferNatasha Kai, soccer playerSarah Reinertsen, triathleteSusan Francia, rowerMichelle Carter, shot putterBib Golic, table tennis playerNatasha Watley, Cat Osterman, Jessica Mendoza, Lauren Lappin, softball playersSerena Williams, tennis player