My Weekend Crush

One of my many dirty little secrets is that I don’t always find Sarah Silverman all that funny. Sometimes, sure – fucking hilarious. But other times, eh – not so much. I just don’t really dig potty humor, so when she veers overboard into adolescent absurdism I have to roll my eyes. But I do appreciate Sarah for her unending boldness and unabashed independence. She is willing to say the unsayable. Quite frankly, the world needs more women who are unafraid of putting it all out there. After all, any gross thing boys can go, girls can do grosser. What I have always appreciated is Sarah’s unwavering support of the GLBT community. In fact, it was a tweet of Sarah’s about marriage equality that got me to follow her on Twitter in the first place. This week it was another tweet of hers and the very succinct, very heartfelt message behind it that reminded me why I keep following her. So even if I’m not big on licking dog butts, I am always going to be big on Sarah Silverman. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday

Sometimes simple is best. A quiet evening on the couch. A home-cooked meal. A good book. And, of course, a plain white tank top. Never let it be said that in the hustle and bustle of the modern world, we cannot stop long enough to enjoy the simpler things. In fact, I’d say they were more important now than ever. Granted, I’m not exactly sure how fake mustaches fit into this back-to-basics equation, but I’m happy to let Sarah Silverman try to explain. ‘Tis a gift to be simple, indeed.

Jenny ShimizuClearly, Angelina was powerless to resist.

Naomi WattsNormally I would advise against wearing dark undergarments with a white tank. Normally.

Leighton MeesterWho needs Chuck Bass, anyway?

Jenna FischerThis is why every office should have Casual Fridays.

Kristin Scott ThomasRemember when she said she was a lesbian once in college in “Four Weddings & a Funeral?” Hello, visual aid.

Kristen Stewart

If she wore stuff like this in “Twilight,” maybe I’d finally watch. Maybe.

Reese Witherspoon

Eat your heart out, Ryan Phillippe.

Amanda MooreProving that lesbian style is not an oxymoron

Tina Fey Tuesday

Yes, yes, I realize I’m starting to sound like a broken record. Tina Fey = Tina Awesome. Lather, rinse, repeat. But today I’m all about sharing the Tina love with other hilarious women. You see, Vanity Fair finally rebutted its own beyond insulting essay from January 2007, “Why Women Aren’t Funny.” Whatever you do, don’t read it without blood pressure medication on hand. A year and three months later, the magazine has finally responded to its own outrageous claim with an Annie Leibovitz lensed cover story titled “Who Says Women Aren’t Funny?” Assembled, along with Tina, are some of the hottest (both career-wise and looks-wise, as the article pointedly observes) female comics around. God, there’s not much sexier than a smart, funny woman, is there? Also, how much do I love Amy Poehler copping a feel on the cover? Nice.Now, I really don’t know where this whole “women aren’t funny” bullshit came from. In fact growing up, I didn’t even realize this was a stereotype. I mean, I’d heard about the humorless feminists and uptight schoolmarm types. But all of womankind? None of us are funny? I guess I was just raised in one of those sheltered environment where my parents and friends told me that a woman could be anything she wanted to be, including funny.For a more thorough analysis of the article, check out AfterEllen later today. But for now, can we please just enjoy women being funny with other women? Seriously, I’ve got to Weekend Crush like six of these women immediately.


p.s. How does one become a faux boob tattoo appliquér because this is a job I think I could really excel at?

UPDATE: See the hotness and hilarity in glorious hi-res over at Popbytes.

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My plan was to do another live(-ish) blog, a la the Oscars post, about the MTV Movie Awards, but I was so stunned by Sarah Silverman’s spectacularly enormous brass cojones in her opening monologue that I was unable to type for about 15 minutes as I had to both pick up and reattach my jaw from where it fell onto the floor. Seriously. I mean, Paris was sitting RIGHT THERE. That, my friends, is the definition of ballsy.

So in lieu of the live blog, I’m going to give you the three moments that really mattered. The rest was pretty much a two-hour commercial for the Transformers movie and Orbit gum.

1. It only took Sarah 4 minutes to rip on “300,” “Spider-Man 3,” the MTV Movie Awards producers, Jack Nicholson, every actress Jack Nicholson has ever slept with, “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,“ Cisco Adler’s balls, the paparazzi, famous vaginas, Tobey Maguire, Lindsay Lohan, Alec Baldwin and Paris Hilton. The latter was…well, just watch. (Viacom hates YouTubers, so you'll have to watch it HERE now.)

(p.s. I know I shouldn't have, but I felt the teeniest, tiniest bit sorry for Paris as she squirmed in her seat, particularly because later that night she surrendered herself to authorities to begin her jail sentence. You know all that clapping and cheering is going to be ringing in her ears all 23 days. Ouch.*)

2. Sarah and Jessica Biel showed super-human restraint while teasing millions of horny men and lesbians with their up-close-and-personal moment. Hot girls don’t kiss; Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen do kiss. Has the world gone mad? (Again, blame Viacom...See it HERE instead.)3. Amy Winehouse. That’s all.

*Well, there goes the last vestiges of my pity for her, now that her 23-days turned into about 75-hours.