Gender Fuck Thursday: Shirtless Edition

They say no shirt, no shoes, no service. But in cases like these if you’re wearing no shirt, there’s no way you’re not getting serviced. Rimshot! Hey, it can’t all be high brow. Sometimes it’s just about the exquisite pleasure of a lady wearing a nice jacket without a nice shirt. And if that lady happened to be wearing a lovely garter set underneath, like Kirsten Dunst – well, that’s some extra special service coming up right there. Extra special, indeed.

Catherine Zeta-JonesBest black-tie optional attire ever.

RihannaOne of my goals in life is to have vacations like Rihanna.

Anne HathawayPeople seem worried about whether the new Catwoman will be sexy enough. I have to say, I’m not overly worried.

Keira KnightleyI wish Keira would go back to the short hair. You don’t know how much.

Eva GreenFrench women, amirite?

Amber HeardLots of you seemed concerned about informing me that Amber is now single. Good to know, very good.

Tilda SwintonRight, like one of these would be complete without a little Swinton.

Lauren Hutton & Christy TurlingtonI find shirtlessness most fun in pairs, too.

Demi MooreWell, I never said she needed to be wearing a jacket, too.

Hello, 60 percent

So last week, this splashy headline came out that said “More than half of women are attracted to other women!” Hallelujah! Praise lesbian Jesus! All our dry spells are over. We have a better than 50-50 change of scoring with that cute brunette at the bar. Go get ‘em, tigers.

I mean, who wouldn’t be attracted to other women?

Women look like this.

And like this.

Also this.

Or this.

Other times that.

And even a little of this and that.

Of course, the reality is this news probably will not improve our ability to pick up hot straight chicks. The original report came from the UK’s Daily Mail, a publication notorious for loving sensational headlines and fuzzy math. That article about a Boise State study by a professor Elizabeth Morgan that was published in the Journal of Sex Research said that “60 percent (of heterosexual women) were sexually attracted to other women; 45 percent had kissed a woman and 50 per cent had fantasies about the same sex.” But, again, it’s the Daily Mail. So, you know, please feel free to chug your salt shaker.

Doing a little research of my own, I did indeed find a real study published in the Journal of Sex Research by a Elizabeth M. Morgan, a Boise State psychology professor, that looks at sexual orientation questioning among heterosexual women ages 18 to 23. The number of women in the study was different than the Daily Mail’s numbers (study: 333, Daily Mail: 484) and findings seem a little different. The real study found that “67 percent of exclusively heterosexual respondents indicated having thought about and/or questioned their sexual orientation.” Of those who have questioned their orientation, the questioning behavior broke down as “unelaborated questioning (19 percent), other-sex experiences (16 percent), exposure to sexual minorities (26 percent), assessment of same-sex attraction (48 percent) and evaluations of same-sex behavior (26 percent).”

Now I can’t be 100 percent sure these are the same studies, because of the differences in sample sizes and report percentages. (Prof. Morgan’s full article is only available for purchase and while I want to prove a point, and I don’t really care so much that I feel like shelling out $34.) And, even if it is the same study, the fairly small participant pool means I wouldn’t go making a bunch of universal proclamations based on it alone.

But, still, it adds research to that long-assumed truth that women are more sexually fluid than men. Or, at the very least, women are more willing and comfortable with being honest about their sexual fluidity. Or maybe we should just chalk it up to college. Besides learning how to shotgun a beer and sleep with your eyes open, students pretty much major in sexual experimentation during those years of academic excellence. This is also where that beer shotgunning thing can come in handy.

In the end, we don’t really need a study (or a fake study) to tell us that while we may not be able to hook up with all these some 60 percent of straight gal, we know they’re at least taking a look at us ladies. How could they not? I mean, look at us.

UPDATE: Wow, ask the universe and it delivers. I now am in possession of seven (SEVEN) copies of Prof. Morgan’s report. So looks like I’ll have some light reading to do this week. Thank you, thank you, kittens. You are, continually, the best.

Gender Fuck Thursday: The Swinton

There is no one, not on this planet or this galaxy, who so thoroughly embodies what I enjoy about Gender Fuck Thursday than Tilda Swinton. She exists in a universe that totally disregards the boxes we put ourselves into. She is the woman who fell to Earth, and I fucking love it. Part fiery goddess, part folk legend, part space alien, all delicious. We get sold cookie cutter perfection everyday and told to call it beauty. But Tilda defies any mold known to man. Delicate, yet fierce. Beautiful, yet strange. Talented, period. No, wait, exclamation point. There are not enough exclamation points.

Perhaps one of the most of many delightful things about Tilda is that she has crafted her public persona this way on purpose, yet not in a calculated way. In an interview and intergalactic photoshoot with W magazine, she said her red carpet style is a collaboration with her close friend Jerry Stafford, the creative director of a French production company and “It’s a game, and we have great fun with it.”

And her definition of androgyny is even more refreshing.

“People talk about androgyny in all sorts of dull ways,” says Swinton, noting that the recent rerelease of Orlando had her thinking again about its pliancy. “Cahun looked at the limitlessness of an androgynous gesture, which I’ve always been interested in.”

Her style inspirations include her male androgyny doppelganger, David Bowie, and her father, Maj. Gen. Sir John Swinton.

“From childhood, I remember more about his black patent, gold livery, scarlet-striped legs, and medal ribbons than I do of my mother’s evening dresses,” she says. “I would rather be handsome, as he is, for an hour than pretty for a week.”

Mission accomplished, Swinton. Mission a-fucking-complished.

[All photos by Tim Walker. Click any to expand.]

Gender Fuck Thursday

Aw hell, why not. Let’s bring back all of the classics this week. First a few tank tops, then SGALGG and now your friend and mine, gender fuck. It is Thursday, after all. So, let’s just wallow in the loveliness that is ladies looking lovely, with a little (or a lotta) splash of butch. Because, kittens, for real – I could stare at Cate Blanchett in an oversized suit and nothing else forever. For. Ever.

Janelle MonaeNever mind The Great Gatsby, this is The Magnificent Monae.

Laura HarrisSure, Angie Harmon was also on “Women’s Murder Club.” But Jill Laura wore the suits and had The Haircut.

Audrey TautouWhite suit with no shirt...

Ruby Rose...or white suit with no pants...

Catherine Zeta-Jones...or big white shirt with no pants? Decisions, decisions.

Christina HendricksI’m not feeling the haircut or the corduroy jacket. But still, it’s Hendricks in a suit and tie so, come on, how bad can it be?

Deborah Ann Woll

Red hair, glasses, suspenders, loose shirt. Now that, that I’m totally feeling.

Tilda SwintonAnd here I believe Tilda’s hand placement is exactly mirroring my feelings about this outfit.

Juliette BinocheThis picture makes me realize why in France, the only difference between the word for “the kiss” and “to fuck” is a little “le.”

Vacation Vixen: Tilda Swinton

Even the back of her head is fucking fascinating.

SGALGG: Gay Globes Edition

Whew, what a night. And by “what a night,” I mean I think only Tina Fey escaped without being hilariously insulted by Ricky Gervais. It was a night of super gay triumphs – “The Kids Are All Right,” “Glee.” Heck, Natalie Portman even gave Mila Kunis a special award for her “sweet lips.” All in all, it was a good night for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gays. It was also a good night for Straight Gals and Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gays and plain-old Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gays. The Globes really were gay.

SGALGG

Tilda Swinton & Helen MirrenThat hug makes me swoon in the deepest parts of my heart.

Tilda Swinton & Claire DanesTilda, you dog! Does Helen know?

Busy Philipps & Michelle WilliamsThey look like they were just telling each other secrets. Preferably naughty ones.

Amber Riley & Lea MicheleMerBerry?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisRyan Murphy, open your eyes.

Piper Perabo & Her PonytailThat’s 1,000 bonus gay girl points for Piper.

Tina Fey & Her NBC PromoShe called her friendship with Amy Poehler, “like Oprah and Gayle, only we’re not denying anything.”

Annette Bening & Julianne MooreThe way Annette is squinting and Julianne is crouching, it’s like they’re still in character as Nic and Jules.

SGGGALGG

Annette Bening & Lisa CholodenkoAnnette is so method, she’s even starting to experience lesbian twin syndrome with Lisa.

Angelina Jolie & Amy PascalEven the high-powered Sony Pictures Entertainment Co-Chairman is doing her best to make a pass at Angie.


GGALGG

Lisa Cholodenko & Wendy MelvoinI wonder if they shared their hair product with Annette.

Jane Lynch & Lara EmbryThis is what a big scary gay marriage looks like, America. Tremble at its adorability.

Santana & BrittanyClearly they’re in character here. Later, they’ll practice scissoring.

For a full Golden Globes recap, check AfterEllen later today.

Lights, camera, acting

Sometimes we forget that acting is a craft, and a difficult one at that. Actors become celebrities and then who they’re fucking becomes somehow more important than what they’re portraying. But acting, that grand game of make believe wrapped up in the fabric of basic human truths, is difficult. And great acting, well, that’s something almost otherworldly. It is making something out of nothing. In fact, acting may be the most basic of arts – to create using only our bodies and brains. No paint, no clay, no music. Just emotion.

But, like I said, sometimes we forget that amid the razzle dazzle and the gaudy glitz that accompanies acting. So it’s nice when someone like the New York Times magazine reminds us once again that acting is indeed an art – and a thing of beauty. Like they did with female tennis players, the Times has crafted an amazing multimedia package featuring 14 actors acting. The magazine asked the year’s best actors to “show us — in a few gestures and with a few props but without dialogue or story — what acting is. And here they are, striking some of the classic attitudes of cinema, turning their bodies and faces into instruments of pure, deep and enigmatic emotion.” In less than 90 seconds, all of them manage to transport us somewhere and make us wish no one ever yelled, “Cut!”

A look at a few of my favorites. See all of them here:

Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”


Noomi Rapace, Millennium Trilogy films


Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter’s Bone”


Chloë Moretz, “Kick-Ass,” “Let Me In”


Tilda Swinton, “I Am Love”

I can’t stop watching Tilda’s. I don’t think she is human, and I mean that in the best possible way.